The Golden Ratio for a Happy Romantic Relationship - Dr Alice Boyes (2024)

Happy relationships generally have a ratio of at least 5:1 positive to negative interactions.

Of course its more complicated than this but the 5:1 ratio is a simple yardstick.

Studies (e.g. Dr John Gottman’sThe Golden Ratio for a Happy Romantic Relationship - Dr Alice Boyes (1) work) have shown that having at least 5 positive relationship interactions for every 1 negative interaction predicts having good relationship health at later time points.

You could quite easily count your positively-toned vs. negatively-toned interactions. You might notice some patterns that could help you e.g. missed opportunities for positive interactions, behaviours YOU repeat despite them consistently leading to negative interactions, or times of the day/week your ratio is best/worst.

The most useful time to keep this ratio in mind is probably when you’re stressed, depressed, or anxious, since being stressed out etc can easily lead to slipping into having more negative relationship interactions or becoming self involved and having fewer positive interactions.

About The Author

The Golden Ratio for a Happy Romantic Relationship - Dr Alice Boyes (6)

Alice Boyes, PhD.

Dr Alice Boyes is a former clinical psychologist turned writer. She is author of The Anxiety Toolkit (2015), published by TarcherPerigee, an imprint of PenguinRandomHouse. She blogs for PsychologyToday.com and Business Insider, and contributes to various magazines.

The Golden Ratio for a Happy Romantic Relationship - Dr Alice Boyes (2024)

FAQs

The Golden Ratio for a Happy Romantic Relationship - Dr Alice Boyes? ›

Happy relationships generally have a ratio of at least 5:1 positive to negative interactions.

What is the golden ratio in relationships? ›

According to relationship researcher John Gottman, the magic ratio is 5 to 1. What does this mean? This means that for every one negative feeling or interaction between partners, there must be five positive feelings or interactions. Stable and happy couples share more positive feelings and actions than negative ones.

What is the happy relationship ratio? ›

There is a very specific ratio that makes love last. That “magic ratio” is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.

What is the golden ratio for more positive interactions and conflict interactions in a happy relationship? ›

As I said before, the ratio is 5:1. Think of it this way: Every positive interaction between you and your partner is worth a penny. Each negative interaction is worth a nickel.

What is the ratio of successful relationships? ›

According to it, for a romantic relationship to thrive and be stable, there needs to be at least a 5:1 ratio of positive versus negative interactions between couples during conflicts or their everyday interactions.

What is the golden rule in relationships? ›

Most people grew up with the old adage: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Best known as the “golden rule”, it simply means you should treat others as you'd like to be treated.

What is the #1 relationship rule? ›

1. Never question the intent of your significant other or the nature of the relationship itself. Just because you've experienced a problem today doesn't mean the relationship itself is a problem.

What is a normal happy relationship? ›

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

You feel comfortable expressing your opinions and concerns to your partner. Your feel physically safe and your partner doesn't force you to have sex or to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.

How many couples are really happy? ›

A recent study of Census Data, and survey conducted by Mixbook of 3,000 Americans has provided insights into how many people who are married across the U.S feel that they are happy in their relationship. The study found that overall (on average), 74%, or about 98 million Americans say they are happily married.

What is the golden ratio best example? ›

For example, the lily has three petals, buttercups have five of them, the chicory has 21 of them, the daisy has often 34 or 55 petals, etc. Faces, both human and nonhuman, abound with examples of the Golden Ratio.

What is the golden ratio quizlet? ›

Fibonacci numbers, like many elements found in nature, follow a 1:1.61 ratio - this is what we refer to as the Golden Ratio, and as it forms such a common sight in nature, it feels pleasing to the eye when we use this same ratio in our design work.

What is the 3 3 3 rule in a relationship? ›

Remember this rule! The formula: 💖3 points of contact before the date (get the vibe) 💚3 dates to collect data (get the information) 💖3 months to see if you want to take things to the next level with this person (get to your goals) It's that simple!

What is the golden ratio in a relationship? ›

He coined it as the magic ratio of 5:1, and many translated this data to mean that couples need five positive interactions for every negative one. Outside of conflict discussions, successful couples had an even higher positive-to-negative ratio—20:1.

What makes a romantic relationship successful? ›

Successful long-term relationships

Stay curious about, but respectful of, each other. It is really important to stay up to date with your partner. Friendship is at the basis of all successful long-term relationships. Successful couples tend to be realists who recognise that a relationship will go through ups and downs.

What is the number one thing that makes relationships successful? ›

1 phrase in successful relationships: 'Thank you' A thriving relationship requires an enthusiastic culture of appreciation, where we're as good at noticing the things our partners are doing right as we are at noticing what they're doing wrong.

What is golden ratio in person? ›

The ideal face measurements is considered the Golden Ratio, which should equal 1.6. This means a beautiful person's face is about 1 ½ times longer than it is wide.

What is the golden mean in dating? ›

During their chat, Paul opened up about the body proportion that men find most appealing in women - something known as the 'golden mean' - and dished on the science-driven reason why. He explained that it focuses on the size of a woman's waist compared to their hips, and that the 'perfect' ratio is 70 to 30.

What is the golden ratio for human attraction? ›

The Golden Ratio, a ratio of 1:1.618 is found in the proportions of the Egyptian pyramids, the nautilus shell, beautiful faces and the ideal body. Our eyes are attracted to objects with this ratio and find them visually appealing.

What is the female golden ratio? ›

Can you give a number to beauty? The answer is yes – it is roughly 1.62 and it is called the Golden Ratio of beauty! The Golden Ratio (also known as Phi, or the Fibonacci number) is the mathematical symmetry algorithm that underlies our perception of attractiveness.

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