by Karl W. Reid, Ed.D.
As a young man raised in the Christian tradition, in our home and in Sunday School, “The Golden Rule” was drilled into our fiber: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Jesus taught principle to his followers in the Sermon on the Mount.
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets (Matthew 7:12, NIV).
My father was good at seizing moments to teach me these principles when he knew I was most likely to listen and learn, for instance after he “applied justice” to correct me when I was disrespectful to my mother or younger brother.
I later learned that many faith traditions teach variants of this “ethic of reciprocity”. The tenet could be positive or negative, for example to treat others as one would like to be treated as illustrated above, and in the prohibitive form, to not treat others as you would not like to be treated. Indeed, the United Nations posts a multi-faith poster showing the Golden Rule as articulated across religions:
The Golden Rule has guided an innumerable number of people (me included) dating back thousands of years. No doubt it has been used to resolve millions of conflicts that range from sibling rivalries to geopolitical wars.
My one problem with the Golden Rule, however, is that it centers the standard of treatment of others on…me, or you. The principle as stated localizes the measuring stick of “rightness” on the protagonist rather than asking how the individual prefers to be treated. What if the other person wants to be treated differently? What if your background and lived experiences are culturally, socially, or psychologically diverse such that the way you’d prefer to be treated would be upsetting or even offensive to another?
I never thought about this until I discovered The Platinum Rule.
The Platinum Rule
In their book, Say the Right Thing: How to Talk About Identity, Diversity, and Justice, Kenji Yoshino and David Glasgow coined the phrase to remind us to locate our actions within the perspective of another, to walk a mile in their shoes. The Platinum Rule “reminds you to take the other person’s preference seriously, whether by asking directly or by carefully reflecting on their needs” (p. 132). By applying this rule, allies avoid the inadvertent savior complex—a reflexive tendency among caring people to want to fix others, to help those who we believe need saving. The problem is that doing so without pausing first to consider whether the subject wants the kind of help or support we’re generously offering could miss the mark at best, or be off-putting at worse.
The Platinum Rule enhances the Golden Rule by urging you to help others as they would wish to be helped” (p. 132).
In other words, we must balance “doing good” with “doing no harm” as Yoshino and Glasgow write. An effective ally does both, with empathy and understanding.
The Golden Rule is a simple but powerful framework that goes back centuries. To be true allies, however, to walk in solidarity with the most marginalized and underserved among us, we position ourselves to listen in order to understand. Platinum is more precious than gold.
Warm regards,
Karl W. Reid, Ed.D.
Chief Inclusion Officer
Northeastern University
FAQs
While the Golden Rule encourages individuals to treat others as they would like to be treated themselves, the Platinum Rule recognizes the importance of individual differences and enables people to adapt their behavior to meet the unique needs and preferences of others.
What is an ally in Dei? ›
Being an ally
Allies are willing to see these differences and to make an effort to promote equity -- eliminating "otherness" even while acknowledging difference. Allies do not speak for or over the communities they support -- they stand with them. It's hard, it takes practice, but it makes for genuine community.
What is the platinum rule in ethics? ›
The Platinum Rule enhances the Golden Rule by urging you to help others as they would wish to be helped” (p. 132). In other words, we must balance “doing good” with “doing no harm” as Yoshino and Glasgow write. An effective ally does both, with empathy and understanding.
Who developed the platinum rule? ›
In this entertaining and thought-provoking book, Tony Alessandra and Michael O'Connor argue that the “Golden Rule” is not always the best way to approach people. Rather, they propose the Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as “they'd” like done unto them”.
What has replaced the Golden Rule? ›
Instead of imposing a single framework, the Platinum Rule adapts to the needs of each individual, creating a more nuanced, respectful, and effective interaction. Enter the "Platinum Rule"—treat others how they wish to be treated.
What is the titanium rule? ›
Titanium Rule: The Titanium Rule is another variation of the Golden Rule that suggests treating others as they would like to be treated. It emphasizes understanding and respecting individual differences and preferences. The term "Titanium Rule" was popularized by Dr. Tony Alessandra in his book "The Platinum Rule."
What is allyship in inclusion? ›
Allyship has a positive impact on marginalized communities, allies themselves, and organizations or communities. By actively working to promote diversity and inclusion, allies create opportunities for marginalized communities, amplify their voices, and promote equity and justice.
What is the goal of allyship? ›
Allyship refers to the actions, behaviors, and practices that leaders take to support, amplify, and advocate with others, especially with individuals who don't belong to the same social identity groups as themselves.
What is allyship pledge? ›
I pledge to be an ally. To be active in a community that promotes equality and respect, that listens and acts, and that challenges inequalities wherever it exists. I will do everything I can, professionally and personally, to be more aware, to learn and to listen, and not make assumptions.
What is the silver rule? ›
You've heard of the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. But when it comes to giving feedback, we need to follow the 'Silver Rule': Don't treat others the way you would not want them to treat you.
One such rule is The Bronze Rule. The Bronze Rule starts with the self: “Do unto yourself as you would do unto others.” Doing unto yourself as you would do unto others certainly turns things around, doesn't it? Though doesn't it make sense?
What are the 3 golden rules of ethics? ›
Do good to others as you would like good to be done to you. Regard bad for yourself whatever you regard bad for others. Accept that (treatment) from others which you would like others to accept from you ... Do not say to others what you do not like to be said to you.
What is the Golden Rule vs platinum rule? ›
The main difference between the two is the fact that the golden rule is self-centric, while the platinum rule is other-centric. According to the former, people act based on how they would want to be treated, whereas in the latter, people are encouraged to act based on other people's needs.
How to practice the platinum rule? ›
“In order to apply [The Platinum Rule], you must look at and listen to others, find out what they want and need, and then try to meet those needs. Ask more questions. Take steps to learn from people what makes them concerned,” says Dunn.
What is the platinum rule quote? ›
So Kerpen came up with the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would want done to them. Says Kerpen, "The Golden Rule, as great as it is, has limitations, since all people and all situations are different.
What is the platinum rule in the Bible? ›
Rather, they propose the Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as they'd like done unto them.” At first, I was taken aback at the common sense approach to the Platinum Rule.
What is the platinum law? ›
The golden rule is to do unto others as you'd have them do unto you; the platinum rule is to do unto others as they'd want done unto them.
What is the Golden Rule vs platinum rule vs silver rule? ›
Conclusion. So, Formula 1 is, “Don't do things (to other people) if you couldn't choose for everyone to do them (to you)” (Silver Rule). Formula 2 is, “Treat other people in the same way you treat yourself” (Golden Rule). And Formula 3 is, “Do what everyone would choose for you to do” (Platinum Rule).
What is the platinum rule saying? ›
Many are likely familiar with the Golden Rule, but have you heard of the Platinum Rule? “Treat others how they want to be treated.” Contrary to the Golden Rule, the Platinum Rule encourages you to think about other persons' feelings first.
