The Platinum Rule vs. the Golden Rule The Golden Rule is still King (2024)

One of the most referenced Bible verses is Luke 6:31: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” (MEV).In fact, because of its significance, it has been labeled as the Golden Rule.Even Merriam-Webster Dictionary has defined the Golden Rule as “ethical conduct referring to Matthew 7:12 and Luke 6:31” (www.merriam-webster.com).For years, the Golden Rule has been the guiding light on how to treat others.In 1996, however, Tony Alessandra and Michael O’ Connor published their book, The Platinum Rule as an answer to what they felt were the limitations of the Golden Rule.They said, the “Golden Rule is not always the best way to approach people.Rather, they propose the Platinum Rule: “Do unto others as they’d like done unto them.”At first, I was taken aback at the common sense approach to the Platinum Rule.It makes sense.Why would I do unto others as I want done unto me, when I should “customize” my approach to find out what they want?

I had to pause and evaluate the situation.I asked myself if there was a principle that trumped the Golden Rule. Could it be that there is a better way?It took me about 10 minutes to realize that the Platinum Rule sounds good in theory, but I quickly realized that the Platinum Rule is not principle based like the Golden Rule.If you are not convinced yet, what if parents did unto their children as they want done unto them—they would be eating candy for dinner.What if Drill Sergeants did unto the newly recruited cadets as they want done unto them—they would sleep in and not learn the necessary skills of battle.

Even though I quickly discovered the deficiencies of the Platinum Rule, I didn’t want to discount it yet.The rule in theory seemed like it might work regarding customer service.After all, shouldn’t I deliver what my customer wants verses what I want?This sounds good, but this quickly unraveled as well when I realized that the Golden Rule is principle based and the Platinum Rule is preference based.What this means is that a principle based rule is universal and applicable to all situations.A preference is just that—a preference, but this is already inferred in the Golden Rule.Let me give you an example.If I have been working outside in 100 degree weather with a friend and I am very thirsty.I make the assumption, that my friend is probably thirsty, so I apply the Golden Rule—I want something to drink, so I offer my friend something to drink.I have applied the Golden Rule.My friend will either respond that he is thirsty or that he isn’t, but at least I asked.I then go on to tell my friend that I’m going to have water, and then ask what they want and that I have water, tea or Diet co*ke (preference/Platinum Rule).In this statement, I applied the Golden Rule and I also gave them an option of water, tea or Diet co*ke.My friend responded, I would like a beer—so do I give him a beer?No, I recognize that we are working outside and that he will be driving home shortly, so I refuse.In this case, I have exercised authority or leadership to keep my friend out of harm’s way.The beauty of the Golden Rule is that it implies that we apply the Platinum Rule (preference) if there are other options.There are, however, many situations where you must lead and guide someone to make the best decision.This includes leading our children in the right direction, and those that we may supervise at work.

It is easy to see that the Golden Rule is principle centered and leadership based.The Platinum Rule is preference centered and has little to nothing to do with leadership—it is more concerned about facilitating what others may want.Leadership however, recognizes that others may not always know what they want.They may not always know if there are better options.If a custom orders a NY Strip steak—do I give them what they want, or do I tell them that the Prime Filet is a better cut of steak and the daily special is 50% off?

The Golden Rule is still King and it assumes that those in leadership positions have the wisdom to lead, guide, and direct when necessary.